SCHEME REPORT:
While our HardCorporate peers like to keep their wallets fat and offer you the crispiest of garments and doodoo n cum splatter swirl records at a slight discount, we at Scheme like to keep our wallets flat and have no offerings besides (non)discounted zines:
However, without sounding too fruity, we did want to send out a thank you to the readership and people that have been supporting us for the past six months or so. As we mentioned in the previous installment, the ALMIGHTY WATCHING 7" will be out January 2nd of next year and we will finally have a "real" offering.
Finally: we all know the struggle of being the metaphorical goth kid at family gatherings during the holiday season (if you have a good relationship with your extended family...........respect I guess), so we asked some of our cohorts to speak briefly about bands / shit from the scene that they're thankful for this year. Hopefully this will alleviate and reduce the amount of time you have to deal with your MAGA uncles and just devour some turkey/tofurkey while a side of crucial hardcore content.
If you’re one of our 80% euro readership that do not celebrate Thanksgiving…..then enjoy a normal happy Friday morning. We’ll be back with our regularly scheduled content next week.
THX AND LUV:
“This year I am thankful for the CRO-MAGS. Besides being thankful for each and every single track on Age of Quarrel specifically Life of My Own, and even some tracks on Best Wishes, I am extremely thankful, that no matter how fat, dumb, stupid, more bald, or old I’ll be, at least I will be less embarassing than they are in 2021. Maybe I’ll slip up here and there, but I guarantee that I won’t tell people that eating some bullshit fruit like mangosteen will help escape a global pandemic. I'll fat shame the shit out of Quinn at the 15 year reunion though.”
- Kyle Fee (THE FIGHT, Podcaster)
“I gotta say I’m thankful for good ol DEATH THREAT. They taught me that life is pretty good even when it’s really fuckin bad! Any band with a song about gambling also deserves to go to heaven also.”
- Mongo Dave (AMMUNATION, Runescape)
“I’m thankful for DEATH THREAT because they’re the best fuckin band out there. They do everything I want: they got the fast parts, they got the mosh parts, they got the sing alongs, they got fuckin everything. That’s why I’m thankful for DEATH THREAT motherfucker - ‘because of you I lost my sanity’”
- Andrew “Lumpy” Wojcik (Daze, ALL DUE RESPECT, North Eazt Hardcore)
“At first my answer was gonna be DEATH THREAT...but I'll go with MADBALL and I'm specifically thankful for Ball of Destruction and this review that Spoiler wrote for it a decade ago, that I found again recently. Maybe the perfect review of a perfect record. It's My Life makes me want to shave my head to this day but I'm afraid my hair won't come back if I do it this time.”
- Chris Albin (Scheme CFO / owner of two Associates Degrees)
“I’m thankful for DEATH THREAT. If I never saw DEATH THREAT play a weird set at Mixtape Fest in 2013 I’d probably be a somewhat different person maybe. One of the best hardcore bands ever, for sure. Also thankful for NyQuil, that shit is dope!”
- Joey Chiaramonte (Koyo)
“Thankful? I’ll give you a thankful, I’ll give you a left , and a kick ta da fucking skull. I’m thankful for the bitter and then some New York punk rock band SHEER TERROR and it’s many members but most of all for the icon of misanthropy and heart ache…Paul Bearer. Without these monuments of New York City sludge how would we know how to hate? None of the gun threatening, urban appropriating acts need apply. It was always about acknowledging and focusing your anger and frustration at the raw deal that life hands out to most, it wasn’t boo hoo “this isn’t fair” it was “it is what it is and it fucking sucks” and for that world view I give my greatest thanks. Also thankful for DEATH THREAT and if you’re not the jokes on you.”
- Kyle Niland (Scheme lackey / art lord / ALMIGHTY WATCHING)
“This year I am most thankful for the fact that the scene is alive and well. My thanks goes out to everyone that's remained. And I give even more thanks to everyone that's become a part of this. I don't know where I would be without hardcore. Without the people who stayed true to it and the new generations coming in it would be very hard to keep this going. But now we are stronger than ever with people to hand the gift down to and help keep the fire burning. I personally would like to teach kids to mosh better and how to be in a kickass band. But I'll save that for later. Thanks to everyone that's recently found a love for this. Thanks to everyone that already did. Thanks to the people that just started getting more active in their scene and thanks to those who have been around and finally decided to take a next step in getting more involved. Thank you everyone that started a band, a zine, learned an instrument, booked their first show and so on. And thanks to those who have been doing that stuff and continue to keep this alive. Thank you Connecticut. Thank you Hardcore. Thank you everyone, I love you.
- Pat Cozen (RESTRAINING ORDER, Patty’s World of Fun)